Yippee-ki-yay and joy to the world. It was announced today that Joel Osteen, Houston mega-church preacher of all that is ridiculously positive, prosperous, smarmy and toothy, will soon be the star of his own reality show. Let us all pause, praise mammon and take up an offering.
Yes, folks, our hearts will become warm and fuzzy watching Lakewood Church's mission trips as they focus on "people helping people." The show will be designed to create the feel good premise of other shows like "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition."
One of the most exciting aspects of this new venture is that Osteen and his family have partnered with Mark Burnett, producer of the reality series, "Survivor", a Godly show if there ever was one. Osteen told Entertainment Tonight, "We have great respect for Mark and we know that the finished product will not only entertain but will illustrate the generosity and selflessness that is a hallmark of the American people."
Oh goody. Not only will we be able to see even MORE of Joel Osteen on TV but we'll also be treated to additional coverage of his lovely and ever so humble wife, Victoria. I get chills just thinking about it. And a bit of nausea too.
Of course, showing people helping people is a worthy endeavor but if Mr. Osteen really wants to touch the world for Jesus, perhaps he would be better served by sincerely warning people that life as we know it is rapidly coming to a close and the wrath of an Almighty God is on its way.
Maybe he should point out their sinful state and explain the great love of a Saviour that bled and died to take the punishment we all so richly deserve. Now THAT would be teaching prosperity! You can't get much richer than that!
Nah, that wouldn't make for entertaining television; too depressing. Besides, as far as Joel Osteen is concerned, entertainment is the only game in town.
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