Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Those Kitschy Kardashians

You gotta hand it to that Kardashian clan. They have successfully parlayed disgraceful family shenanigans into obscene amounts of money and fame. What most people would consider shameful, narcissistic behavior is a lifestyle to these people and due to the general public's insatiable appetite for voyeurism, there does not seem to be an end in sight.

The name Kardashian became known in the press back in 1995 when the family patriarch, Robert, joined the 'dream team' of attorneys who defended and ultimately helped to exonerate the sociopathic killer, O.J. Simpson. That in and of itself, would have had me legally changing my name had I been a member of the family.  Robert died of esophageal cancer in 2003.

After divorcing Robert in 1990,  Mrs. Kardashian subsequently married former Olympian decathlon winner, Bruce Jenner in 1991. The children born to Robert and Kris were Kourtney, Kimberly and Khloe.  Of the three, Kim is the one whom the entire clan can thank for fame and fortune.

In February 2007, a 27 year old Kim recorded a sex tape with her boyfriend, R&B singer, Ray J. One of the famous scenes in this cinematic masterpiece, featured Ray J. urinating on her. Somehow, the tape was 'leaked' and quickly hit the internet. Vivid Entertainment paid $ 1million for the rights and released it as Kim Kardashian: Superstar.  She sued for ownership and in April 2007, she withdrew her suit and settled with Vivid for $ 5 million. Who knew selling yourself on film being used and humiliated would be so lucrative?

In October 2007, she and her family starred in the E! television series, Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  An instant hit, it provided hours of fun for the little people of America who found  peeking into the lives of the rich and self-absorbed fascinating. More money, more money, more money!

In December 2007, Kim posed nude for Playboy and has since gone on to make her mark as a 'businesswoman, socialite, TV personality, model and actress.'  She co-owns a clothing boutique with her sisters and has come up with her own fragrance, a workout DVD, jewelry line, clothing line and has had guest appearances on numerous television shows. In 2010, she reached the pinnacle of human achievement by having her wax figure unveiled at Madame Tussauds.

However, something was missing in little Kimmy's life. Her sister Khloe was the first to walk down the aisle and naturally, Kim wanted to get married and have the most lavish, beautiful wedding Hollywood had ever seen. She was on the hunt for a groom and pretty much anyone with a pulse would do.

She spotted her future chump, uh...fiance, Kris Humphreys, of the New Jersey Nets, at a party and had a mutual friend arrange an introduction. It was all downhill for Humphreys from there. Immediately thrust into the garish spotlight that constantly illuminates Kim, he appeared to be a lost little puppy on her leash as their 'courtship' ended up in an obviously scripted and televised marriage proposal in May 2010, complete with a 20.5 carat diamond ring worth $ 2 million. The feigned surprise on her face when he opened the ring box served to highlight the sad fact that she still desperately needs acting lessons.

In August 2011, they married in a televised, ostentatious ceremony in L.A, accompanied by 500 guests, three custom $20K Vera Wang wedding gowns, $15 million worth of jewels (mostly borrowed), $400K worth of champagne, $750K worth of catering, all costing a total of $20 million, of which they paid nothing. In fact, it is widely rumored they made $17.9 million for allowing the cameras and advertisement of vendors. Yes, it was over the top and she looked gorgeous. No one ever said the woman wasn't stunning.

Now, 72 whole days into the honeymoon, Kim is filing for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. How would she KNOW they can't be reconciled??  Does she even know what the word means?  They spent most of their engagement on television, fighting with each other and extended family. The two have hardly been seen together since the wedding!

I'm not sure which activity is more whorish. Her nude escapades, or her foray into Holy Matrimony.  Both were produced for a large audience out of her obsessive, insatiable appetite for money, fame and admiration. Where can she possibly go from here? 

She only recently turned 31 and has pretty much done it all.  She has traveled extensively around the world, made more money than she could spend in fifty lifetimes, slept with more men than I want to visualize and is instantly recognizable anywhere she goes. I doubt her ride is over. I predict she will, very soon, either produce a tell-all book or get pregnant out of wedlock. Oh geesh, please don't reproduce!

It truly boggles the mind...ALL this simply because she put herself on exhibition in a pathetically, vulgar sex tape. She and her family have made millions and don't have enough sense to be ashamed of themselves!

I'll ask the age old question again; why do the wicked prosper?  In this day and age, the lunatics really ARE running the asylum!

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